Big Lovin’: The Guide to Picking Up Fat Chicks by Matt Forney

Well then! Don’t get me wrong, I am well aware that Matt Forney is a shameless troll. However, there is a certain special kind of jackass out there who will follow his advice, so let’s review this like a proper advice book.

So, first off you’re going to notice that Mr Forney learned an extensive list of large mammals at school! Throughout this book he will refer to large women as just about every animal he can think of, bless. Another thing you will notice is that he has a very interesting view of women, and of himself!

My favourite quotes are;

“Yes, all women like a man with muscles” really? 

“I’m fortunate that I was blessed with a nine-inch meat wrench with the circumference of a bratwurst” This is the best laugh of the book.

For someone with a nine inch meat mallet, he has an extensive knowledge of penis extenders. Which you will read about directly after his little boast.

If anything, it’s a laugh to read but only because of the absolute knowledge that some jackass will try this and get burned. It won’t take you long to read but it does highlight just how stupid some men can be. Having already read his blog against female self-esteem, this was not a surprise.

2/10 a little score for a little man.

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9 Responses to Big Lovin’: The Guide to Picking Up Fat Chicks by Matt Forney

  1. LOL! Now I feel like buying this book! Awesome review.

  2. Thanatos says:

    “Throughout this book he will refer to large women as just about every animal he can think of, bless.”

    Fat women,cupcake (and I mean that literally.you are what you eat.). FAT women.

    Large women are chicks like Ellen Nordgren and they get that way because of genetics. Usually everyone of their racial background is large,like they are. YOU, are FAT. You got that way by shoveling sugar and carbohydrates into your greedy maw until you were about to puke,then waiting a couple of minutes and doing it again without ever exercising or not doing so very often or vigorously.

    Also, females don’t have,never have had, and never WILL have any self-esteem whatsoever. I’m not sure what to call what females have,perhaps megalomania,but using the term “self-esteem” to describe it would be a misnomer. If you’ve ever seen a female try to project a confident classically male attitude in the workplace as a man,you’ll know what I’m talking about. Anyone who had self-esteem wouldn’t need the hyper-aggressive,unmoderated,intemperate outbursts a typical female co-worker in a male-dominated field is given to. Someone with genuine self-esteem doesn’t display a hysterical need to be taken seriously. He just is. And I say HE on purpose because only males have that attitude. It is non-existent in women.

    How many women can eschew the practice of self-labeling themselves “strong independent women”? Show me the woman that can let some fool erroneously believe they are a “doormat” and just smile,shrug their shoulders, and say “Whatever,man…”

    YOU PERSONALLY don’t have self-esteem because you can’t bring yourself to say “FAT women”, and to admit that YOU are a FAT woman. If you liked who you were, you wouldn’t use a euphemism to describe yourself. It’s like if I referred to myself constantly as a “custodial technician” when what I really was….was a janitor. I would never do that, because as a young boy if you display any sensitive tendencies like that, people bust on you until you either grow some balls or kill yourself. Either that, or they beat the shit out of you or kill you themselves.I wouldn’t even TAKE a job as a janitor, because I hold myself in higher esteem than that.

    As a man, I don’t have the luxury of not having self-esteem. And because I have self-esteem,real self-esteem,not the fake kind you advocate, I weigh under 135 pounds. If someone starts shooting people in a crowded airport,or if I for some reason find myself face to face with a hungry lion, I am physically able to run to safety. I don’t believe that you can say the same about yourself.

    In short,lose some weight and shut the fuck up about your non-existent “self-esteem”, which you don’t have, won’t have, and probably CAN’T have,and no, I don’t want to fuck you. Go beg someone else for a pity fuck,fatass.

    • Hahaha! Awwh thanks for the laugh we enjoyed your comment. As it happens I did not in any part of my post ask you to fuck me but I appreciate the sentiment. I too, have no desire to fuck you so you are perfectly safe 🙂

  3. Lottie says:

    Wow… if anyone wasn’t sure about this ‘author’, I’m pretty sure they are now. Poor thing has some serious issues!

  4. Oedipa says:

    You do realize that his only power is in making people angry on the internet. Power that you give him by getting mad. He wants people on the defense so they won’t look at him objectively. If they did, they would laugh. He is a lonely liar who seeks attention and articles like this give it to him. He is irrelevant and only exists on the internet. He is 100% avoidable and should be avoided.

    • I’m not angry or upset, I’m actually finding it really funny Especially how mad people are getting with me (see other comments) lol I agree he is avoidable 🙂 thanks for the read.

      • Oedipa says:

        I should express “you” more in terms of the collective reaction on the internet. I wish women in particular wouldn’t get angry about this guy since that seems to be his objective. Keep laughing, people!

      • I hear you. I’ve had a brilliant laugh at some of this.

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